We were unsutiably sutied with even our hand me down Mormon clothes looking too casual. (I was wearing pants, Isaiah didn't have a tie) A short look around the incredible capitol building and a room made of gold in our new to us Deseret Industries dress shoes produced blisters. Since they wouldn't let us in a church (or meetinghouse) anyway we changed back into street clothes.
The entire town of Salt Lake was designed for and around the church with all streets stemming from its hub and numbered by its distance from it. Said to be easy to navigate, we found addresses like "695 West 3370 South St." confusing.
We spent the afternoon at a few key spots of Mormon history, starting with the Beehive and Lion Houses. Brigham Young-the second church Prophet- built and lived in both homes in his later years. The Beehive house served as the early church's headquarters for many years. It is also where Brigham spent most his time and housed his favorite wives.
Two sweet Asian Mormon missionaries led a group of us around the Beehive house which is open for daily tours (the Lion House is not). As we learned on the tour Young was an approachable leader who had his bedroom set up in the front of the Beehive house to be always available to his Saints whenever they might stop by. Though he had only 11 days of formal education he deemed school important for his children. He also valued productivity, which was what we would call child abuse. He made his children sleep on mattresses comprised of a few strips of rope. After a couple of hours the ropes would sag, functioning as a pre-dawn alarm. What a sage leader-nothing ensures productivity like sleep deprivation. Then after all that, denying the youngins coffee....call in protective services.
In our tour group were two Saints in the their mid-to-late 20's who I was competing with in excitement (I have developed a fascination with Mormonism after reading Jon Krakauer's "Under the Banner of Heaven" ). Each represented the two classic Mormon stereotypes. One was a well groomed robot set to Mitt Romney mini executive mode. The other, the kid last picked in P.E., that is if he hadn't been homeschooled to believe muscle growth is too much like evolution. He had no fashion sense and less of an idea how to relate to us. He had clearly been shown the "How to make converts of teenage heathens" video from 1995. He described how he and his "playas" were able to get "jiggy" and do so even without the titlating effects of tea, which I should warn you comes straight from Jezebel's cauldron of liquid sin, heated by hell's charcoals.... I wonder how the Saints feel about crumpets. Because God knows its no fun if the homies can't get no crumpets.
Interestingly enough, this was not the end of our religious education. Each year the SLUT Krishna Temple holds "India Fest" an evening program and dinner, open to the public, a spirited introductory education on their temple and spiritual beliefs. (It took me a minute too. Salt Lake UT. We saw it on a bumper sticker). We had attempted to attend the festivities last night in Spanish Fork but had arrived too late. That sadly meant missing the tour of their massive eight-acre Taj Mahal-like temple grounds. We did luck into catching the encore performance, for the first time ever, in Salt Lake. Though "encore" like finishing up Godfather 2 with a showing of the third. The Krishna Temple in Salt Lake is small and rundown in comparison to the truimph of the Spanish Fork temple. Well, rundown by nearly any standard.
Though absolutely worth the $3 admission fee, here are some tips to make your time more enjoyable: come late and leave early. The first act was a group of five confused young people whose choreography involved wandering on and off stage during songs and whose sheet music must have included the notations: tap bells, mutter "Hare Krishna," until tounge falls off and "Remember you are performing for people." They were able to folow two of these musical instructions. I could have caught the same show at the airport and had the added benefit of a genital pat down. The last act was excruciating. We didn't stay for long but were able to decipher that it was some sort of Indian interpretation of Britney Spears at the MTV Music Awards. Lots of lip syncing, bare midriffs and bad music only the snake wasn't real and Britney, midriff and all, was played by a man. Also, the prop department consisted of the dazzling duo of Powerpoint and projector. I am also confident Brittney had access to professional sound equipment and didn't for her performance reapropriate the sound system of a 1974 Pinto.
Despite the crap bookends I would still recommend going, for the clear gem of the night-the dancing. Two acts performed traditional Indian deity dances. Somehow the festival had managed to attract the attention of Nadam dancers who are currently touring the U.S. from Bangalore, India.
I do not have a vocabulary to describe the grace, beauty and magic that made up their routine. It was phenomanal. Like gave me shivers. Like made me want to cry. Before each performance a dancer would explain some of the moves and their spiritual significance.
The second act was a solo dancer who Isaiah reported (I was getting food) as being completely different but likewise incredible. He even said he could almost imagine the second dancer's more deliberate routine in a club, but that the routine was nearly as much facial acting as the movement of limbs.
Quite a day.
Capitol Building
Inside the Capitol Building
The Lion House
Inside the Beehive House
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