Day 54 (Monday 8/13/12)- Casper, WY

Isaiah is thoughtful in his planning and tries to find routes that incorporate interesting views or stops along the way to make long drives more pleasant. This drive was no exception and included a few stops and enjoyable detours. We had again planned on going into the mountains, to hike and to camp, plans of seeing an ancient stone medicine wheel and maybe some wild horses. We had instead gone on to Casper due to bad weather. This morning we woke to another meteorological curse. After a pair of nice days in Cody the weather had again turned spiteful. We took it as a sign, especially considering we had already passed the region, and would have to backtrack. You may think we are getting ahead of ourselves a bit here, but we have already decided we will hit this area next time. Yes, there will be a next time. We heard going into Yellowstone from the NE is the most scenic access point, but didn't want to challenge our breaks, or the subsequent challenge to our speedometer and seat belts. Also, we'll get the chance to hit the Eastern side of Glacier, (given the last sentence, maybe we should switch "hit" to "leisurely appreciate") which isn't covered by Going to the Sun Highway. So much to see, so much to do. So much, in fact, that there is no time for regret, especially when we had a full and fun day headed across WY.

More a stop than a sight was the town of Meeteetse. A dot of a town only known for it's three oil fields and it's free museum. We toured only the latter. The museum was almost as big as the town itself, spanning two stories and including an adjacent historic bank and a parking lot of debilitated pioneer transportation, and slightly newer, but no more functional, vehicles. A literal and permanent parking lot. Though it was quite extensive for a town of such a limited population, the museum collection had the appearance of a junk filled attic who, tired of being neglected and couped up, had, with manifest destiny in its mind, taken over the whole house. (Meaning the stuff was more old than interesting). The most noteworthy section (though overwhelmingly comprehensive) was the photography from the old Marlboro Man campaigns, all of which was taken on the ranch up the road. If you don't mind skipping photos of local hunters and the lifelike remains of their kill stopping in Meteetse isn't necessary.

The upside of the historic hoarding is it is clearly a community effort, supported by local taxes and, by the look of it, the hangout for perhaps a quarter of the town. Meeteetse, it would tell you, is also responsible for saving the Black Footed ferret population, though quotes from community members posted on the walls describe the endeavor as "stupid." In the 1970's this particular brand of ferret was thought to be extinct. Domestic animals often make presents of dead animals, but a Meteetse super dog was a special kind of killer. To kill a previously believed extinct species you have to first find the evasive critter, and for scientists to find out about it the dog has to leave the rare corpse on the porch. This would be excellent proof of the superiority of dogs, actually bringing you "gifts" that have scientific importance. (Cats have only brought me things that have no business being preserved). Researchers located a few remaining ferrets and established a highly successful breeding program that has effectively saved the Black Footed ferret.

Next stop was Legend Rock. Even with the rebellious gravel road that brought us to it and the "rattlesnakes in the bush" warning signs, it is definitely worth visiting. (The overzealous lady at the museum reported as reassurance to us that she "drove 45 mph the whole way." If in her claims she doubled her speed to impress us, or if she really reached 45, don't trust her. We tiptoed at 20 mph.)

　
　
Legend Rock is an archaeological site featuring 1,500 year old petroglyphs thought to be by Native tribes. It is only a short walk from the parking lot to come within feet of the ancient artwork, which should be easy to complete for anyone wearing closed toed shoes. Though some more modern "artists" have added their own drawings it is still easy to see glimpses into the past and what we think are eagles, spirit gods and other animals (decide for yourself). (It makes you wonder if the more recent sketches of genitalia will take on historic and artistic significance a few centuries from now).

Our final detour was in the city of Thermopolis. Not only does this town have a fantastic name, it also houses the world's largest mineral hot springs. If perhaps not factually true, it is certainly the world's pushiest and desperate hot springs. Signs every mile pleading "Stay, stay" remind you of the existence of the hot springs. They've even gone so far as to write into the side of a mountain 100 feet high "directions" which consists of "Worlds Largest Hot Springs" and arrow. Not exactly MapQuest. In the middle of the various commerical pools and the accompanying water park sits what is called the State Bath House which allows you to spend 20 minutes unwinding in a very large hot springs pool (pick the one outside, it has shade and feels amazing). Yet it somehow gets even better. After spending the luxurious 20 minutes in 104 degree water they threw in a complimentary shower. As I clarified with the puzzled attendant, there may be a time limit on the pool, but the shower, per a crucial oversight by the facilities, could be an all day affair.

In the pool we met an incompetently rebellious couple who while touring the country always makes a point at visiting the bath house. I perhaps should put the visiting the bath house in quotations. I'll explain as they did. For many years they thought, despite the desperate signage, that Thermapolis couldn't be so desperate as to give away their world wonder for free, and given its legendary status the hot springs must be exorbitantly marked up, they would instead for free sit in self satisfaction over their gaming of the greedy capitalist in a trickle of the spring's muddy run off outside the park fence. After finally getting "caught" five years later they discovered their foolishness. Undeterred the Senior biker gang of two tacked on quite a few prohibited minutes to their 20 min allotment.

In the early evening we arrived in Casper and first stopped in at the Visitor Center to find out what there was to see in the town. We were awarded a ream of promotional propaganda, none of which proved useful. The women who helped us asked where we would be staying for the night and for some reason we answered honestly, though up until this point we have always been vague about our accommodations. She fell into horror and pity when hearing our overnight plans, we transforming into homeless drifters before her very eyes. (I guess we kind of are, but it seems different when it's chosen and planned). She then tried to retract the brochure for a $3 museum she had formerly recommended. She seems unaware that not only is every Walmart teeming with homes on wheels the size of whole Walmart departments, but that after investigating Casper's more traditional and visitor center approved lodging options, Walmart rated pretty high, with less-believe it or not-drug enthusiasts. This taught us a valuable lesson- you can live in a van and sleep at Walmart, you just can't tell anyone else about it. (Sounds like a mash up between "Fight Club" and "Where the Heart Is." A theoretically superior cinematic experience than "Young Adult." See below).

We tried to walk around downtown Casper and take in the town's historic buildings and sculptures but even with our competing tour maps it was pretty boring. This is a town not worth a second day. Nothing could keep us here. After a large walking loop of disappointment we scrapped the exploration and went back to Walmart to watch "Young Adult." In previews this movie had been touted a comedy with Charlize Theron and Patton Oswald but it wasn't funny. Oswald was good without being funny. (There were a couple of laughs and a nice moment towards the end when Theron and the viewer question what is really happening. Theron plays a completely unlikeable character. One with no depth. One so self centered you only get hints at what the other, more interesting, characters around her are like. This makes for a nice contrast between how Theron uses or ignores them and what you suspect is the truth, but her character can't carry the movie alone).

                      
                               Petroglyphs at Legend Rock


                             
                                 Petroglyphs at Legend Rock


                              
                                Petroglyphs at Legend Rock


                             
                                Statue in downtown Casper

Day 53 (Sunday 8/12/12)- Cody, WY

Our second day at the Buffalo Bill Museum proved to be just an entertaining as the first. After I washed my hair in the public restroom (single stall bathroom, of course) we set out to conquer the West or something to that effect.

The collection of Western Art is so immense that it spills into the upper level of the museum where administrative offices are located. Realism, classical and contemporary art fill the walls and depict cowboys, indians, western wildlife and more. One room housed sculptures byAlexander Phimister Proctor who has several works housed in Oregon, notably the "Rough Rider," a monument to his friend Teddy Roosevelt which is located in Portland. In this same room a video chronicled the steps required for Proctor to produce the monument. This involved a very elaborate and tedious process where the artist and his assistants had to re-create the masterpiece at least four different times-in clay, plaster, wax and finally bronze.
A few other pieces stood out. One was a wooden cutout of a cartoonish cowboy with a dog at his feet who was lapping up a spilled can of Coors (using an actual can) done by a contemporary artist, which I took as a meditation on the true nature of a contemporary cowboy. Another favorite was a sculpture in which two deer were stacked atop each other, the top one inverted so that their backs and antlers were locked together, interconnected as one. The museum also took an interactive approach in encouraging visitors to provide feedback. There was even a postcard making station and a computer program where you could blend elements of various paintings from the gallery and adjust size and color to your liking. We took advantage of both, me hoping that my art criticism could best that of a 2nd grader, whose rather elementary conception of form and theme somehow made it onto a placard and the museum wall beside the painting she thought could use less "scary" red coloring.

In an effort to actually enjoy each building and not merely endure them, we took a break at the local library. As far as libraries go (and we have seem many) this one was fantastic. It opened into a lovely fireplace foyer, had comfortable chairs, lots of outlet plugs, clean bathrooms and most surprising a live show.
We were seated on the far end of the library and hearing music, we first assumed it was some unruly teens. Isaiah went to investigate (hearing clapping) and came back smiling, with the report- "it's live." We packed up our gear and hurried over to the library meeting room. It was full of 50 people, 3/4ths of which, we would find, were the performer's family. Over the next hour we enjoyed Luke Ballard sing and play acoustic guitar. He had a beautiful voice, with great versatility, but as he admitted a limited, but consistent way with his guitar (meaning every solo sounded the same, except when he switched things up by whistling the would be guitar lines). He played self penned songs and some choice country classics. He was above all funny. He spent most of the set talking, before songs, after songs, in the middle of songs, to his extended family who were all there (even Aunt Marge) and cracking jokes. He was hilarious (and not too hard on the eyes either) which made his great singing and excellent song choice all the more entertaining.

Before leaving the best library we have seen yet we made sure to check out the free books shelves and view the stunning pictures hanging around the library taken by a local artist of his time in Burma.

Back once again at the Buffalo Bill Museum we walked through the final building which was full of paintings, artifacts, stories, information and interactive scenes concerning the Native plains people who first inhabited the area. It became clear that the museum was not hurting for funding (and how could it at $18 a pop). We entered a room large enough to be a movie theater. In it was a full size screen and on which was a beautiful skyline that gradated from sunrise to sunset. In front of it sat a true to scale tipi. In another area a wooden model had been made to resemble the more permanent style of housing non-nomadic Plains tribes resided in. Throughout the house were installed 10 television screens all with different landscape scenes as part of an ADD addled movie and a starry night sky projected onto the ceiling.

Deciding to spend the evening enjoying an icecream and some soda we ended up again at McDonald's. Though becoming regulars has been quite a stretch for a vegetarian and, by Wyoming's standards, a fellow vegetarian who occasionally dabbles in real food, we have been able to justify our outings as "cultural." Laugh, but consider that tourists don't go on urbanspoon to find the nearest McDonald's, while colorful locals don't make a habit of going to fancy pants restaurants (which in Wyoming means bedazzled blue jeans). That or it's an elaborate justification process for ignoring our growing dependence on soda....quite a predicament, but necessary to ensure you all are fully entertained by our stories culled from the road, for to produce these narrative epics, we need an Internet connection and a head swimming with caffeine. What was I talking about...Oh yeah, most McDonald experiences happen without note, this was an exception.

As we stood waiting in an extended line an irate man approached, shoved a hamburger in our faces and said "you might not want to eat here since there are flies in the food." Though I didn't personally witness the fly (I can confirm its existence) I have no reason to doubt his seriousness as he proceeded to throw the burger down on the counter in retaliation against the High Schooler cashier who, with her goons, had conspired to poison him. This was a moment when I felt very thankful to be ordering only a soda and an ice cream. (Flies didn't stop me from ordering a burger. Though when she asked about adding fries to my order, it sounded suspiciously like "flies").

At the Buffalo Bill Museum

At the Buffalo Bill Museum

At the Buffalo Bill Museum

Day 52 (Saturday 8/11/12)- Cody, Wyoming

Having gotten used to weather in the mid 90's waking in the middle of the night to thunder, lightening and rain was quite a surprise. The rain continued into the morning. Now we've heard plenty of thunder lately, but rain, believe it or not, was strange. We had initially planned to hike into a camp spot, before the weather butted in. Instead we decided to go to Wyoming.

When Isaiah mentioned to me that the Buffalo Bill museum was well regarded but costs $18 a ticket I was reluctant to check it out. To date that's the most we've had to pay for a museum. But then we remembered there was the matter of the "Cody fund."

Our wonderful Aunt Barb established a "Cody Fund" to be used on special occasions for activities expensive enough that we would otherwise balk. She explained she was in Cody and lingering at the doors of the same Buffalo Bill museum when she decided, "Hey, when am I going to be in Cody again, lets go for it." It's fitting we chose to do the same. Plus, the site actually considers itself 5 museums.

Even before entering the museum a man in period clothing greets you from the helm of his Chuck wagon, offering samplings of beans, cowboy coffee and bread, all cooked over an open fire. Since the beans had bacon and the coffee had grounds, Isaiah got twice the "Wild West" experience. I just munched on bread.
The museum's size alone is overwhelming and we struggled over where to even begin. Thankfully admission is good for two days, which let us take our time and get the most out of the experience. Half of the museum today and the remainder tomorrow. We spent a good four hours studying the Yellowstone Ecosystem, Buffalo Bill's life and a cache of Firearms and barely made it through half of the building.

In the Yellowstone Ecosystem exhibit you are guided through the different elevations and habitats of Yellowstone starting below 5000 feet and "scaling" all the way to over 12,000 feet. Each elevation or section talks about the animals that call the habitat home and includes more taxidermed bears and beavers that I can say I am comfortable with. We also learned that the animal we had identified in the Grand Tetons as a pika was actually just a measly prairie dog. One interesting note is that President Roosevelt can be credited for preserving not only Yellowstone but over 230 million acres in total during his presidency, more than any president before or after him, making him possibly the greatest conservationist that ever lived.

Now as we were in Cody, WY at the Buffalo Bill museum you can guess who the main star of the facilities was. W.F. Cody was a marshal scout who turned his Wild West exploits into a traveling theater production with Cody playing the role of Buffalo Bill. Though Buffalo Bill was fictional, with others claiming the title, Cody held such a reputation that to most everyone he was Buffalo Bill incarnate. As you enter his floor a smoke hologram of Cody greets you, which we tried to catch on camera, but, true to his life, Mr. Bill proved rascally. Memorabilia from his theater company and life fill all available wall space and give much praise to the real life hero and the town's namesake.

Directly below this floor we found much more to entertain us including a listening station where we spent half an hour hearing stories about many of the most famous outlaws in the West such as Jesse James, Billy the Kid and Butch Cassidy. In the same area we took advantage of the "dress like a cowboy" display. See the pictures below. Advanced notice for the ladies: you may want to get a fan handy.

After viewing two different sections of the five part museum we were exhausted but decided to see the Firearms exhibit before leaving for the day. We walked around and looked at 1500 guns and only made it through the first floor! To really fully enjoy this experience it would help to not only be a gun enthusiast but also comfortable around giant taxidermied animals. As I mentioned earlier this definitely does not apply to me or much to Isaiah either. Though it seemed like we just looked at a bunch of guns for an hour or so, in reality we saw weapons from all periods of time, watched a short movie on early gun manufacturing and were dwarfed by the largest stuffed polar bear ever recorded which was killed by a woman. Also noteworthy is the record Adolph Topperwein set in 1916 when she shot 1952 out of 2000 clay pigeons at 16 yards. (It seems Amanda is more pro feminist than anti taxidermy).

Following the museum excursion we stopped by the Sierra Trading Post which offered samples from a cowboy cookbook including cookies and Carmel popcorn, then enjoyed the setting sun in the city park and finally walked around the downtown gift shops.

One hot cowboy

On the kid's pony

Biggest bear hunted ever!

W.F. Cody smoke hologram

W.F. Cody smoke hologram

Isaiah and W.F. Cody scouting

Day 51 (Friday 8/10/12)- Billings, MT

After getting our fill on $1 soda we hit the road to Billings. The drive wasn't quite as long as yesterday and went by fairly quickly.
What's the only thing Billings offers that beautiful Yellowstone and Glacier can't? Clothes shopping. It doesn't offer much of anything else, so shopping was the only item on the docket.

The mall in Billings is large and at first appears to consist only of Dillard's. Indeed the store is so large men's and women's apparel require their own separate buildings, but once inside we discovered that there were plenty of other stores in the mall as well. Despite the variety I was an uncreative shopper, only chosing stores I could easily visit back home. On the upside I walked out with a new fedora (so much for the uncreative shopper) and a purse for $9! Meeting back up with Isaiah at the car, I realized I had not completely used up his generousity and patience and proceeded to hit up a thrift store across the street.

Isaiah had hoped to come along, but at first glance Runway clothes appeared to be just for the ladies (in the end they did have a very small men's section but he was already back at the car). (I think I might have passed anyway. I'm not sure that I would find anything to wear at a place called "Runway Clothes"). Despite the minimal male section it was a gigantic store and it took me an hour to end up with one item. Somehow my zeal was lost on Isaiah but he was gracious about it and even agreed to one last stop at the Goodwill.

Right outside Billings is the small industrial town of Laurel, which is where we chose to stay the night. After trying to see Laurel's night life (it doesn't have any) we settled instead for parking at the Walmart and making phone calls home.
(Bit of a boring day for me. I got to read and relax, which was nice. In addition to all the stupid shopping, I'd describe Billings as Montana's Spokane. Enough said.)

Day 50 (Thursday 8/9/12)- Helena, MT

Today we set out for Montana's capital not knowing what, if anything, it would hold for us. During a long drive (of which this was one) Isaiah will put on music and we will do our best musical impersonations. On this particular drive we did a very successful first verse to the Notorious BIG's "Juicy" (before falling behind) and of course the classic "Ice Ice Baby." This put us in good spirits as we pulled into Helena. (I dispute that any of this occurred. That and the bestowal to Ice Ice Baby "classic" status)

After a stop by the AAA (not only helpful for state maps but local maps too, when your GPS becomes flabbergasted that new roads have been built. Indeed it seems half of Helena is one big construction project that distinctly lacks the visuals Glacier offered when we waited in its traffic) we found the library and spent some much needed time researching and getting caught up on the blog.
We arrived at the library at 4:45. Isaiah found online that there was something fun to do and free (when you read where our destination was you may question the word "fun." Still I stand behind it). The activity started at 5:00, so we promptly left the library.

Each Thursday the Montana Historical Society offers free admission to it's museum which is right across from the capital building. With several different large exhibit rooms on the main level and another smaller one on the third floor we would need the couple of hours before it closed for the night.

In the first large exhibit room was a small collection of artwork by Charles M. Russell. Small only in that, during his lifetime the beloved Montana artist created over 4,000 paintings and several hundred scultpures. We actually saw a great deal of his work that spanned from the mid 1800's to the early 1900's. The majority of the work depicted cowboys on the range, the West's wildlife and native culutural traditions. Though it was beautiful to see, some enjoyment was lost when two local men barged in who, despite scant artistic understanding, were able to go on at length about the emotional impact the artist had on their lives, though this seemed to amount to little more than how much they would, rather than observe him at work in his studio, "love to throw back some whiskey with him."
The second large exhibit room offered a bounty of Native artwork and artificats including a "Winters Count." The Winters Count is a piece of animal hide used to chronicle a year's significant events, like enemy attacks or a crop killing frost. A real functional and yet creative historical document.

The largest exhibit encompassed multiple rooms and was an illustrated timeline of Montana history. It began with prehistoric geology and the first natives and finished in the 1950's. We took a walk through history. It only took us an hour to walk millions of years, during which Isaiah found how warm and heavy a buffalo hide is.

I will briefly mention the small exhibit room on the third floor as it does offer a perspective on Montana and American history, but I will also mention that it has become all but a forgotten afterthought by the museum. Holding artificats from both World Wars the room contains medals, uniforms and other military memorablia. The downside is that most of the picture frames are falling apart, all the placard cards have yellowed with age and the only update this century seems to have been the cultivation of a distinct musty odor.

Once we completed our rounds at the museum we stopped back at the library briefly and then to where else but Walmart for the night.

Isaiah trying on a buffalo skin

Day 49 (Wednesday 8/8/12)- Glacier National Park, MT

Our final day at Glacier and we felt we had the whole routine down. We got up early to beat the crowds, patting ourselves on the back that we weren't one of the many fools going to Glacier on the weekend, only to be reassured that yes, we are indeed the fools. But fools with much company. We arrived at the bus terminal early enough to wait for an hour. We ended up catching a ride at the same time we had the previous two days. What's more, according to our very seasoned and delightful bus driver Wednesday is actually the busiest day in the park since everyone assumes weekends will be the worst. Plus, only on weekdays do you get the pleasure of construction crews. I guess we don't quite have it all figured out yet.

Our goal and only real itinerary for the day was to do the Highline trail. This hike is a must, even if just for a little while to say you did. The trail runs right along a cliff! A garden hose is affixed to the rock face for protection. I know, reassuring huh? We didn't need it, but it might induce paralysis if there happened to be snow. As there wasn't any on the hike we fared well, but any other time of year you would need that make shift rail. We followed along this incredible path, Isaiah's annoyance climbing too, as every few minutes I exclaimed "Can you believe this, this is unreal!" (It was charming the first few times I'm sure). (Charming like 50 "Squeasle" pics. Speaking of which...).

Along the way we were greeted and at times almost tripped up by Squeasals. Very vain and photogentic Squeasles (wish I hadn't worked so hard to get a picture yesterday). We passed several trickles of water that just weeks ago had been solid waterfalls and what I would call a real secret garden (except for the thousands of travelers who also discover it every year) all along the cliff face.

Though the drop was startling any danger was completely overshadowed by the beauty on what I would call the greatest hike we have ever done and probably one of the best ever to do. With that we bid Glacier goodbye and headed back to Walmart for our final night in Kalispell.

Mountain goats along Highline trail

Mountain goat along Highline trail

Mountain goats along Highline trail

Taking a break on Highline trail

The secret garden of Highline trail

Very high up on Highline trail

Day 48 (Tuesday 8/7/12)- Glacier National Park, MT

Our second day in Glacier. Approaching the entrance gate we were waved in, apparently the park was free to everyone today.
Severe bus delays due to a motorcycle accident (a fairly common occurence on the troublesome road) caused over crowding. We took the line as an opportunity to explore rather than wait. Avalance Creek, where we had been temporarily stranded, offered two hikes. One very easy and one a bit longer. Since we were waiting for a bus and expecting a significant hike later on, we decided for a best of both hikes combo. We walked just far enough on the more strenous route to see a scenic waterfall and quickly rounded the easy paved section back to the bus stop. By that time the stop had cleared out. Our side adventure had worked out perfectly.

We then continued on to Logan Pass-approximately the half way point of the park and it's highest point at over 6,600 feet. Behind the Logan Pass Visitor's center we found the boardwalk for the Hidden Lake Overlook. It is an absolute don't miss! The hike runs from the visitor's center through snowy mountains and ends at a beautiful lake. On the way a big horned sheep said hello.
While oogling the mountain and lake, a socialable chipmunk snuck up on me trying to charm his way into any food we might be willing to share and finding us uncooperative, any of it he could steal that we might be unable to protect. Just as the chipmunk realized there would be no handouts and went off to pout, an unidentified (Mmm..You decide) animal we affectionately named a "Squeasal" scampered up. Thinking this was my only chance to capture (the mythical beast) on film, I hurried after it, finally documenting its existence, only to find 50 less evasive kin the next day.
After a couple of exhilirating hikes we were far too exhausted to attempt the final hike we had planned and decided we needed one more day in paradise. When we got back to Walmart we didn't feel like going to bed just yet. (Life is a delicate ballet. We find we have the habit after a strenous day or an extended voyage into the country to counterbalance) Thus we decided to eat a half gallon of ice cream topped with creme soda and watch American Pie Reunion. (They were equally wise decisions) A note about the movie: Bad doesn't cover it.
(On the positive side the movie made me feel old. Old in that people my age are already nostalgic. And apparently nostalgic for crap....Now "Something about Mary," now that was a movie. They don't make classy movies like that anymore...kids today with their SuperBad and whatnot....
We are far more active on this trip than we ever were in Corvallis. Our paletes, however, have also undergone a curious transformation, having developed a taste for overindulgence in crappy foods and movies. I guess things even out. Previous to the trip, I'd say 90% of the movies we tended to watch were arty/indie/documentary/foreign films. Just as our pre road selves judged Walmarts and McDonalds as negative cultural symbols, seeing how we have so far watched several superbly average movies and now a thoroughly bad one we've changed our opinions a bit here too. There is something comforting, just like an undeviatingly bad, but cheap hamburger that can be had anywhere or a small city full of discounted merchandise, so big it allows people to sleep in it's borders, watching a movie millions of others have, even if bad, is somehow nice. We are all Americans, with bad habits.
We'll work off the tub of ice cream tomorrow.

Avalanche Creek waterfall

Waiting in construction zone on Going to the Sun road (Perhaps beating the Mormon Row bison for best traffic jam)

Mountain goat along Hidden Lake Overlook

Big Horned sheep along Hidden Lake Overlook

Hidden Lake Overlook

Hidden Lake Overlook

Hidden Lake

Crazy chipmunk

Mysterious "Squeasal"