After the Big Rig's snoring we needed a quiet morning. With that decided we drove around town trying to find the perfect park. The perfect park in which we could cut Isaiah's hair. The winning "park" was a large dirt circle on the outskirts of town and the edge of the highway (It should be mentioned the town is full of beautiful parks but the issue is that people inhabit those). We worked as a team to groom Isaiah into less of a wild man. (Just to clarify, if you think this is weird and gross. It certainly is weird, but using a garbage bag we ensured that my hair clippings weren't spread across the state of Colorado).
Naturally after getting a hair cut in the park, the next item of business is to bathe yourself in a public pool. Bathing can be so mundane, why not have some fun with it, maybe get a little exercise? Don't feel bad for us, I bet we had a better time than you had in the shower this morning. Does your shower include three monster water slides? Well, to our frustration ours didn't either, if you want to get technical about it, but only because they had drained the outdoor pool for cleaning. What luck.
As we were approaching the pool our eardrums were assaulted. Emanating from the open truck of parked car came a "song" with rhythmic and lyrical OCD. It seems the song could not proceed or end until it perfected it's two notes and simplistic ode to vagina's, though they weren't called that. I'm quite sure these were not musical ideas worth pursuing and even so, it shouldn't have taken five minutes for them to perfect three notes and as many words.
In front of the speakers were three adult men working out as if they were bench pressing in their garage. Only they were blaring sexually explicit material and doing pull ups on the monkey bars of a children's playground. Stranger still was the other car next to them full of three other men watching them work out. Leaving Muscle Playground behind us we got to the pool.
Being not just a pool but a recreation center too, the $2.50 admission price was one of our best buys yet. Our tickets included a long list of rec possibilities; a weight room, racquetball, Foosball and ping pong tables. We chose the 86 degree indoor pool and also chose to race. Isaiah won but it was a photo finish. (We could have used you J.C.-who, we hear, has a new underwater camera) Then we spent over an hour pumping weights. We chose court room T.V. rather then strip club music (I'm sorry, I men exotic entertainment palaces). Judge Ross is comparable to our beloved Judge Mathis but makes more of an effort at professionalism (he repeatedly scolded a defendant for using the term "stripper," insisting they be refereed to as "exotic entertainers") which is laughable since all his guests are clearly nuts.
In the first case a woman was suing a bartender for setting her on fire. On the night before her wedding no less. Thankfully she only got a few words in before the case was thrown out as she admitted to being so intoxicated during the incident (her Bachelorette party) that her whole testimony turned into a murk of unwarranted self confidence and poor decision making, such as first sculpting her hair into a rock formation with three coats of hair spray and then, in an attempt to let her hair down, dunking it into a shot glass that also happened to be on fire. The second case was won by the plaintiff when it came to light the bachelor party he threw for his best friend was broken up by the soon to be blushing (with anger) bride...with a golf club. When the Judge asked why she brought the golf club with her, she had the audacity to say "...it was in my car." As if it was just convenience and not pre-meditation. The judge might have been biased, for the ex fiance clearly did not respect the entertainment value of what outside the court might be called stripping.
The intensive workout exhausted us and we got a little shut eye in a park (parks, we learned today, are almost as multi functional as rec centers) before hitting the road for Loveland. We pulled into Walmart with the help of GPS. The parking lot was massive, there were trucks everywhere. It was a Walmart factory. Opps. After a detour we finally made it to the actual Walmart.
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